This whole theory of the looking glass self has me rethinking my character. C.H. Cooley, social psychologist, stated it best when he said, “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” I believe that sometimes what we think of ourselves and what others think of us are not always in accord with one another. And when they are not in accord we examine them for veracity. For instance, I see myself as opinionated, free spirited, eclectic and kind hearted but a little bit of a honey badger. I don’t usually seek other’s opinions on myself, but when they ‘re offered up I cling to them and dissect them. I’m often surprised by what other people gather about me.
In college one of my close friends told me that her now-sorors were surprised that she was friends with me because I come off as a stuck-up bitch. Hmph. Also one of my “team mates” from a dance/step team that I was on called me a bitch as well –but she placed it in my honesty box on Facebook. (eye roll) And those are just two examples. When I heard that people thought this of me I was initially shocked
Then I started thinking, maybe everyone thinks I am a bitch. Maybe I am a bitch. Cool, but do they have any concrete evidence? Often times people who are not outgoing are pegged as bitchy or stuck up. I am a very kind person to those who I am close to. Sure I can be playful and a bit of an asshole jokingly with my friends and family but I’m not that way with people I don’t know very well.
I guess at this point in my life I am accepting the fact that I might be a bitch. Upon further anlysis of my self I found the Kabalarian philosophy website where I did a full name analysis. Based on the letters of my first name I found out very insightful things about my character. According to the report, the force of my name creates “blunt expression” that alienates others. So I guess in so many words I am a bitch. It was written from birth when my mama named me Sonique.
Do you think about what others say about you? Evaluations from third parties can be insightful and make you reflect. But do you even care?