This week’s episode entitled Sparrow, was an especially emotional one.
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them – Khalil Gibran
When I read this quote I instantly thought of the Law of Attraction, which I’ve written about in the past. It’s a straight forward principle but easy to forget when life seems to be spiraling out of control. Mary Jane chose the sorrow of her DUI and car accident through her incessant drinking addiction. And Lisa chose her own sorrow or joy as well. Lisa decided to end her life. She suffered from depression and anxiety because she was molested by her stepfather for most of her youth. What was especially haunting is that she sat at her table, eating fruits and cheeses sipping wine. Then took a shower and put on a nice dress. Next she lay in her bed. And the unspeakable happens next – she fills a bowl with pills and takes a handful of them.
This episode was difficult to watch but I was intensely curious to see how the writers handle the taboo topic of mental health in the black community. “Black people don’t kill themselves,” one of the characters said. Well, life experience has proven that to be false. I think that black people are good at putting up a front like everything is okay. I once worked in a group home for youth suffering from mental and physical illnesses and I know too well that mental illness is definitely prevalent if not more dangerous in the black community.
The question that I kept asking myself throughout the episode was, could this have been prevented? Or would Lisa still have made the same decisions? If her stepdad never violated her? Maybe if MJ didn’t catch wind of her and David’s affair? Maybe if MJ had been more forgiving? Maybe if David never became sexually involved with her? So many factors and thoughts. I don’t know if there is an answer.
As far as choosing sorrows and joys, you have to make up your mind. Are you going to identify with the dark or the light. It’s about perspective. Life is certainly not easy and some of us are not as resilient as others. That is why there are healers in the world. I just hope that everyone can connect with one in time to save their lives.