5 Year Sketch


5 year sketch

According to the Law of Attraction you must first visualize your success if you want it to materialize. Below is a five year sketch. It’s essentially an interview with myself five years from now. I was inspired to conduct this 5 year sketch by an article “Interview Yourself to Help Define Your Goals.”
What will your job be like? I am a copywriter or a copy editor. I will work for a diverse thriving company. I will have a position that allows me to be independent. I will have opportunties for promotion. I will make a decent living doing what I like. I will be able to work from home and my job will encourage me to travel. I will be a mentor and a leader.

What will my family be like? I will have my brothers and my dad. We are all older. I see us being close, going on trips, having holidays at my house. If I am married, I see all of this with a husband or fiance.

Physical appearance. My hair is APL and still natural. I am the same height and weight. Lord willing my skin will be in the same condition. I’d like for my arms to be more toned. I will be stylish and well kept yet quirky. I will wear jeans and oxford shirts, oversized sweaters with leggings and mocassins. hi low skirts with chiffon. jordans and maxi dresses. Leather, nylon, mini skirts. playful, innovative and genteel when necessary.

Home: Spacious, cozy, and clean apartment. Big windows, natural light. White bedroom. Comfy couches and chairs. Book shelves filled with books. Nice kitchen. Frequent visitors, open door policy. I will cook on Sundays and eat leftovers all week. And healthy takeout when I don’t feel like cooking.

Typical day: Wake up. listen to music. eat breakfast. shower. get ready for work. work. After work, hitting the boxing gym or zumba class. meeting up with friends/s.o. for dinner. going home reading and writing. working on projects, building my business.

Looking forward to: going on vacation to Fiji, Tahiti, India and China. Going to work the next day. Building my company. Getting married one day. Being of greater service.

Social circle. influential beautiful positive people. friends all over the country. many not so close friends and a small inner circle. people who are stylish, active, and motivated. successful in their lifes.

So there it is. My rough five year sketch. What’s yours?

xo So


Why You Should Get Rid of Your Facebook for Good

Two days ago I freed myself from my Facebook page after a 7 year relationship. It feels amazing. Back in college I would only dare deactivate my Facebook during finals and midterms time. BUt now the 23 year old me has walked away and I am not looking back. Here’s some of the objections to getting rid of your Facebook and how I overcome them.

  • Your friends will miss you/how will people find you: If they are my real friends they will know how to reach me. via phone or in person. They know where I stay. If my only means of communicating with my friends was through Facebook I would probably say that I don’t have any friends and I should go outside more.
  • The privacy settings have been updated, you can hide virtually everything: Oh really? I don’t believe that for one second. Once you put something on the internet, Facebook will always have access to that piece of information. Employers can still find your supposedly hidden Facebook page that you created under an alias.
  • You need to stay relevant: Relevant? That’s what the news is for. If it is real news I’m sure it will show up on CNN or one of my favorite news websites. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who is sick of receiving those shared photos from friends, full of memes and e-cards. Yeah, thanks but no thanks.
  • I’m so used to having it: And that is a problem in and of itself. Sometimes it’s good to break habits. It makes you think about why you’re doing them in the first place. Imagine if you used those minutes…sometimes hours spent on Facebook doing something more productive. Free yourself from your Facebook addiction.

xo Sonique

I Don’t Like

*bang* bang* Leave it up to Yasiin Bey to always tell it like it is. A prolific rapper whose volume of work speaks for itself. With the first line “white supremacy is what I don’t like” it’s clear that Bey’s take on the Chief Keef song is not a game. Yasiin is angry and he’s got much to be mad about.

Reminiscent of his freestyle like flow on “Dollar Days” the artist formerly known as Mod Def delivers a modern day sign of the times critique. Somebody’s gotta say it, right?

*sidebar: Chief Keef, I support the dream, but Love Sosa makes me want to vomit.

Credit to HYPETRAK for the audio

Black Friday

This Thanksgiving I was super excited about the food because I decided to go on a five day cleanse right before the holiday (see drinking only water and eating raw food for five days) It was a rough long road but when I finally ate, I had a new appreciation for simple things like chicken and sweet potatoes! My new diet does begin soon but for now I’m going to relish in the leftovers. After stuffing my face I intended to brave the black Friday crowds, but things didn’t exactly go down that way. I drank rum and fell asleep. Lucky for me a lot of websites are offering black friday deals online. 🙂 Here’s some of the ones from my favorite stores.

Zara.com 50% off select items – there’s a ton of items to choose from. Silk trousers, denim jackets, cutesy ballerina flats

Tobi.com 40% off the entire site!

Nastygal.com 25% off shoes

Karmaloop.com 15% off and free shipping on all orders

Gap.com entire store up to 60% off and $19 sweaters men and women

Oldnavy.com can you say $15 jeans for women

Asos.com extra 20% off anything; tons of clearance items

Forever21.com extra 50% off sale and $10 specials on jeans

Melody Ehsani 30% off everything

H&M Sweaters and Dresses from $5, Pants from $10 & Outerwear $15

Looking glass


This whole theory of the looking glass self has me rethinking my character. C.H. Cooley, social psychologist, stated it best when he said, “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” I believe that sometimes what we think of ourselves and what others think of us are not always in accord with one another. And when they are not in accord we examine them for veracity. For instance, I see myself as opinionated, free spirited, eclectic and kind hearted but a little bit of a honey badger. I don’t usually seek other’s opinions on myself, but when they ‘re offered up I cling to them and dissect them. I’m often surprised by what other people gather about me.

In college one of my close friends told me that her now-sorors were surprised that she was friends with me because I come off as a stuck-up bitch. Hmph. Also one of my “team mates” from a dance/step team that I was on called me a bitch as well –but she placed it in my honesty box on Facebook. (eye roll) And those are just two examples. When I heard that people thought this of me I was initially shocked

Then I started thinking, maybe everyone thinks I am a bitch. Maybe I am a bitch. Cool, but do they have any concrete evidence? Often times people who are not outgoing are pegged as bitchy or stuck up. I am a very kind person to those who I am close to. Sure I can be playful and a bit of an asshole jokingly with my friends and family but I’m not that way with people I don’t know very well.

I guess at this point in my life I am accepting the fact that I might be a bitch. Upon further anlysis of my self I found the Kabalarian philosophy website where I did a full name analysis. Based on the letters of my first name I found out very insightful things about my character. According to the report, the force of my name creates “blunt expression” that alienates others. So I guess in so many words I am a bitch. It was written from birth when my mama named me Sonique.

Do you think about what others say about you? Evaluations from third parties can be insightful and make you reflect. But do you even care?

Cleanse me

Whenever I try to get healthy I always give up too soon. I’m full of excuses. I’ve been bound by my family and friend’s food choices. Everyone around me eats unhealthy –I follow suit. To be quite frank the biggest motivating factor for me is yeast infection prevention. They’re icky and inconvenient. So, I thought, there’s gotta be a way to keep them away. After a google search I found the candida diet website. They introduce a way of eating that wards off infections of all type. After many other searches I found that the alkaline diet helps restore our bodies to a healthy pH level and gives us energy and vitality. All of this sounds good right? The only hangup is that the alkaline diet is mostly a vegan diet, and gluten-free. I am the biggest carbohydrate whore. I love gold fish, salt and vinegar potato chips and bread. It’s going to be tough for me to stop all of that but I’m taking it one veggie at a time.

I envision that this cleanse will be tough. No doubt. Especially when at work all my coworkers are ordering Chinese food for lunch. But I just have to put up my mental blockers if I want a successful cleanse. Now, some people may say… you’re skinny, you shouldn’t be dieting. Well, my diet is severely poor. Lately I found myself visitng Mc Donalds too much and not eating nearly enough veggies. Even though my size has remained petite my insides probably look like death. And a cleanse is good for everyone to do every couple of months to give your insides a shower.

Here’s the rules of my candida cleanse (click here for the official webpage)

-eat only raw foods – salads and steamed vegetables

-buy organic if possible. In my case I didn’t buy everything organic but I did get a fruit and veggie wash to clean off all the icky chemicals and dirt

-drink a liver flush every evening
Liver flush recipe: 1 cup water, 1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil, 1 clove garlic, small chunk of fresh ginger

– drink a detox juice twice a day on an empty stomach
detox juice recipe: 1 cup water, 1 tbsp. fiber supplement, 1 tbsp bentonite clay

-I will continue to take my vitamin supplements as usual

Today is my first day. I timed this cleanse so that I will be able to eat real food again by Thanksgiving. My cousin is making cornish hens. I’m not sure if I will adopt the 100% vegan/raw food diet but it is looking more and more appealing to me. After this cleanse I will follow the candida diet which does include meats, just no pork, which is fine by me. I want to eat to live. I want to be free of sickness and lethargy. I want my insides to feel as excellent as possible. I just drank my first dose of detox juice and it wasn’t bad at all. I’ll keep updating on my journey! Wish me success.

xo Sonique


My ponderings on racism

Now, I am no expert on racism. But I do consider myself to be an open-minded and intelligent person. Read this post with an open mind. I do realize that some of the things I am about to say are uncommon beliefs amongst the  uninformed. I took a university course on prejudice and discrimination and this article is basically my free flowing thoughts on one of the lectures. So just hear me out. Last week I tweeted, “Black people cannot be racist!” Much to my chagrin I received a backlash from a number of people on twitter, both followers and non-followers. Most of them basically laughed at me.

At face value it seems as though I am making an extremely biased and blanketed statement. However, people who study prejudice and discrimination share the same beliefs. In my sociological studies I learned that racism is a system of disadvantage based on race. Hear that, a system of disadvantage based on race. It is not just a personal ideology based on prejudice. It is a system involving cultural messages, institutional policies and practices, as well as the beliefs and practices of the people. It contradicts the very notion of justice that we have in the United States.

With all of this stated, in the context of America, if you use the definition prescribed above, only white people can be racist. Sure, there are black people out there who have racial prejudices, but they are not racist because they do not gain an advantage. When I hear the word racist the first words that come to mind are power and privilege. I would be remiss not to mention that, all white people do not benefit equally from racism; just as all black people are not equally disadvantaged because of racism. Examples: Michelle Obama and Oprah.

What is the difference between racial prejudices and racism? Racism involves power. It is the invisible backpack that white Americans carry with them. It is the ability to go into the store and find the exact shade of foundation for your skin. To have hair products for your hair type at pretty much any store you walk into. It is seeing people who look like yourself on magazines and television commercials. It is the difference between feeling like one of the bunch or an outcast. Many people under-acknowledge and downplay racism and race. Currently we only want to see things the way that they are (perhaps because the past is so ugly) The current system of racism denies white privilege of the past generations. Which is why, in my opinion, racism is such a big ugly problem. (I am not here to give my ideas on how we can stop being racist –it’s been hundreds of years and it still hasn’t stopped, maybe God can help us) We acknowledge difference but don’t attribute them to racism.

I do believe that people of all colors can have prejudices. I know I do. Whether they be racial, sexual, economical or just random they do exist. I just know that I will never consider a black person racist, according to the technical definition used by sociologists. And if they do appear to be so –it is just a reaction to white racism, the wonderful system that taught us all to divide and attack.

Here is a quotation from Malcolm X that sums up everything in a few lines

“Usually the black racist has been produced by the white racist. In most cases where you see it, it is the reaction to white racism, and if you analyze it closely, it’s not really black racism… If we react to white racism with a violent reaction, to me that’s not black racism. If you come to put a rope around my neck and I hang you for it, to me that’s not racism. Yours is racism, but my reaction has nothing to do with racism…” ~Malcolm X

Let me know how you feel.

xo Sonique