What else to do…

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve written for this blog. And I’m back to let you know that I am still here. I’m not throwing in the towel. I do write in my journal and my art journal lots more than I write here (both are cathartic and relaxing for me). Let me give a brief rundown of what’s been happening 🙂

  • I’m still a commercial copy specialist
  • I’m 26 years old and utterly confused/indecisive
  • Dealt with a bout of adult acne that is JUST NOW clearing up.
  • Successfully transitioned to veg life and sober life after medical hiccups and scares
  • Ready for some changes

What kinds of changes? Particularly in the financial and career domains of my life. Right now I feel as though I’ve plateaued. I graduated college 4 years ago and while I have increased my income, I’m worried about what it is going to take to get me to the next level. See, I’m 26 –less than 4 years away from 30. To me 30 is that age when you finally get your ish together. You get rid of that old car for a new model. You no longer buy furniture from Ikea. Your credit score is no longer a worry. You stop dating losers and settle in with your life partner. You purchase a house or condo. You have seniority at your job, along with an actual office with 4 walls and a door. I’m crippled with anxiety when I think about the distance between where I’m at now –cubicle, 15 year old car, ikea furniture, lives with dad, dysfunctional romantic life, entry-level position — and where I want to be, the fabulous land of 30 somethings. I told myself somethings in my life are going to have to change in order for me to get there.

I’m pondering going back to school – graduate school. The reason I took time off between undergrad and grad is because I was scared. I’m skeptical of the level of impact a professional degree and license will have on my life. Those fears have not gone away. It’s just that now I have a sense of urgency. I’ve seen what’s “out there” and I’m not impressed. I’m not sure which degree would make me the happiest long-term. I’m not sure how much a masters degree would improve my life but I know that it won’t make it worse. I have a program in mind and I am going to their open house this Saturday -armed with all of my questions and concerns. I feel so far removed from all things academic it will be good for me to speak with faculty and current students to see if this is something that I am actually interested in, and not just on paper. I’m teetering between two programs at a local university – I don’t want to say which ones. Just know that whichever career I choose – I hope to make in impact on the overall wellness and quality of life for people. I enjoy what I do now; but, I don’t get that feeling when I leave work.

This post doesn’t have a definite conclusion but I am looking forward to gathering more information on these respective programs and actually taking steps to make these changes that I long for. I’m not going to allow myself to get stressed out about the space between where I am and where I want to be. It’s all going to come together one day. Hopefully when I’m 29 – I have my eyes on a white BMW x3.

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Big day mantra

I am strong; positive; energetic; powerful; capable; qualified.

I  have everything I need to get to where I want to be.

I have a pretty big day coming up tomorrow. This is what I tell myself when confronted with big opportunities. This and some ratchet cocky rap music –I’m gonna be unstoppable. 🙂

In case you didn’t know Angel Haze is fire.

If you have a big day coming up, what are your mantras? Do you find them helpful?

xo So

Arrivederci 2012

Goodbye 2012. It’s been really real. This year has been quite a roller coaster. Early 2012 I was fired from a job that made me miserable. My car was totaled. I was pulled over 4 times (zero tickets) I lost my mother. I lost another job. Each of these seemingly tragic events have taught me valuable lessons. *Sometimes you have to put aside your own person for the greater good of your job* *Take care of my car* *Do not text while driving* *Do not tailgate* *Do not take people for granted* *Life is short* *Spread love* *Some jobs are not a good fit, know when it is time to go, and plan accordingly* And moreover be strong when everything is going wrong. 

Some pretty great things have happened this year as well. I worked three different jobs. I met some really great people. I was able to learn about photography and deepen my yoga practice. I entered into a loving adult relationship. I strengthened bonds with some older friends and relatives. I officially became a godmother. Dropped some bad habits. I went to over a half dozen concerts. I learned a lot about myself and God.

Everything seems to happen at the right time, it seems as though I’m growing up. I don’t exactly have New Years resolutions because I come up with new short-term goals everyday. This New Year I am striving for a few important long term goals

  • Simplicity – avoiding excess
  • Better money management – money skills
  • Mind control – gaining control over my mind and living in the present

What did you learn this year? What do you really want to do next year?

xo So