Well sir. I’m not sure how to answer your question. Perhaps because whenever I talk to you you show a lack of interest or it’s just not a pleasant experience. If I don’t enjoy talking to you (of if I think that you don’t) I probably won’t do it again. I’m not one of those needy people. I’m fine with you. I’m fine without you. I’m so quiet because I don’t dig small talk and talking about things that don’t interest me. It’s so banal, excruciating and phony. It’s not always necessary to talk. There is not always something wrong when I am quiet. Just enjoy the silence every once in a while. It gives you time to work and think. (taken from a small rant after an annoying day at work)
Throughout my life I’ve been surrounded by a gazillion extroverts. I love extrovert friends. Most of my friends are extroverts, or outgoing introverts (as I like to consider myself). I consider myself an outgoing introvert because I do like to go out and attend social events. I enjoy having multiple close friendships. I like attention every once in a while and I can act outgoing with certain people. But to most of the world I am an introvert.
Strange extroverts have had somewhat of a difficult time understanding or getting along with me because of my disposition. I had problems with them as well, they just didn’t know. Introverts and extroverts have different types of energies that’s why they tend to clash.
As an introvert people are always encouraging me to “come out of my shell” and to “cheer up.” I heard those things so many times that I started to think that something was wrong with me. Never no more. I do enjoy lengthy and loud conversations with my close friends and family. It’s not necessary for me to be like that with everyone. That’s exhausting.
It would always bother me when my old manager at work would say, “I need more energy from you.” Or when the same thing was echoed in interviews. I’m sorry, is it a crime to be laid back? Most of these interactions leave me feeling completely down and out about myself and my entire being. Many a nights were spent replaying conversations in my head about how I should be and what I should be doing.
It’s important to be honest with yourself and to know what you like and can put up with from day to day. I thought that I could fake it long enough, but after a series of events started to happen I threw the proverbial towel in. I’m not an extrovert. I cannot thrive longterm in a position that is built for an extrovert. Although I am talented, funny, and intelligent my gifts were not packaged for that position. It wasn’t a good fit. I am now working on making my spot under the sun.
xo So
Sonique 